Inside Where We Live (Alyssianna)

Shakespeare

Grabbed the pic from google, just love the quote.

 

Hi, I’m Lyssa. My whole name is Alyssianna Nichole but I go by Lyssa mostly. I’m a girl, not an animal. Today I’m big Lyssa so I’m almost 15 but most of the time I’m little Lyssa and can be like 4 or 5. I age slide. It depends a lot on how I feel and what the stress level around the outside is like. If its not too bad I’ll stay little cuz I like being little Lyssa the most. I’m happy there. But if its very tense then I stay big Lyssa to make sure I can help and not get sad. I don’t really like to be big and I’m not very good at it a lot but I do it for short times cuz I can do it. Like I can totally keep kids and pets alive and fed and watered and stuff and I can make sandwiches and stuff. Emotional stuff is easier as big me too.

Most of the time I been around has been for the marriage. It was a lot of not good and very confusing stuff. Chained to bed at night, cuts, pills, burns, and stuff. He always said I heal fast so the body musta been built to be used. I wish I was earlier cuz I could have helped Cadie through the half moon burn but I didn’t come around until after that like a couple years after that. The body already had 2 babies when I came around and we were gonna have another. I couldn’t raise kids. I remembered to feed them. I would lots of times not eat so they could. I worked a lot at technical jobs to make money. I was addicted to Xanax, cigarettes, and pain. I got hit with a belt a lot cuz I couldn’t seem to follow directions or rules and stuff. I really didn’t do very good with that. He usedta give me the pills so I would be a good girl and do what he wanted. He said I was hopeless a lot though cuz I could never be good without pills. I kinda still don’t follow rules good but my mom and dad don’t use belts or pills. They take away internet and stuff.  I think I do better now tho. I don’t be as mean to them as I used to.

I love them a lot. Mama lets us be us. We hadta make that choice tho cuz its a big choice. It makes Daddy nervous. He’s always tryin to find ways to hide us. It’s okay tho we know its not cuz he doesn’t love it. Its cuz he doesn’t want us hurt by people being mean or not understanding and maybe he doesnt wanna be uncomfortable either by it but he’s comfortable with us at home so I dunno I’ll hafta think more about that but the bigger sisters are totally going ahead with the plans to be blogging and open an honest about us an who we are. Kaysie is trusting Mama and Daddy to take care of us like at the circus.

They are I guess technically our caregivers. Thats what our doctors call them. We call them Mama and Daddy because that’s what they are to us and the doctor Sabrina saw last week said they are saving our life and that the way we are living with them is clearly working out well.

I like little gifts. Small stuff that means things. I like lava lamps and pink and purple colors. I like makeup and clothes and pretty stuff. And butterflies. And the quote above and I’d love love love to have it as a poster!!!!

Hi, I’m Lyssa.

Advertisements

Inside Where We Live (Jennaleigh)

Jenna's favorite roses are fire and ice roses. Picture comes from www.fireandiceroses.com

Jenna’s favorite roses are fire and ice roses. Picture comes from http://www.fireandiceroses.com

I don’t spend a lot of time out front, lately. Inside I have a fairly complex and kinda difficult job. My name is Jennaleigh Sage and I’m an emotional regulator. I am also a nurturer and mediator. My family and most of my friends call me Jenna.

I first remember joining my sisters inside around 2010. I feel like I’ve been around before, but that is the furthest back I can remember right now and I’ve been pretty much active ever since.

I tend to become overwhelmed when fronting. Since I regulate and process emotions for almost everyone inside (with the help of Mia) it becomes almost impossible to handle everything inside and outside all at once. At first it was hard to understand why everything was so hard for me and my family was constantly treating me like I was weak and silly until we all realized what my job was and what it means. At that point everyone started being a lot kinder about my emotions. I appreciate it so much.

Mia and I are now in the process of teaching the protector team how to process emotions too. At very least their own. Part of what makes them good protectors is having Mia and I process and regulate their emotions so we want them to learn how to do their own, but they want to be able to help us when things get too intense.

So… um…. yeah. That’s me and what I do. I like gardens, roses, daisies, and irises. I love nature, butterflies, and Christian music (K-Love rocks!).

Jenna

Inside Where We Live (Alexandria)

hi im lexi and im 10. i wasn’t always 10. for awhile i was grown up but that didn’t work so good. i didn’t get married but i was there like rite after we moved back after we got married and we had two baby girls and it was stupid and i couldn’t figure out how to be a grown up and kaya was no help at all, like not even a little bit because all she cared about was shoes, so i tried real hard but it didn’t work.

so i went to live on a island inside. there was a big keeper on the island. he wouldn’t let anyone on the island and didn’t let me off the island. i was gone from my sisters and kaya and betsy had to figure stuff out themselves because all i did was get in trouble and get the body hurt and almost get the kids taken away two times and make the husband mad and hurt us and the body. when i was around and married i made him mad a lot and the body got beat and burned and ignored and yelled at and tied up and put in bad situations a lot. they were better at not getting hurt then i was. i tried real hard but kinda figured out after a lot of failing that my job wasn’t to be a grown up and i didn’t know what to do. so i went to my island and stayed there til one day the keeper went away and i still dunno where he went. he was like a big stone giant guy. sometimes i miss my island.

i came back after a long time but i came back as a baby and i played inside and i stayed away from touchin anything outside so i didn’t brake things. the outside life was real bad but i tried to help inside by givin sisters someone to snuggle an cuddle and playin games with them an they were nice to me and we all thought maybe i was the original person in our body but it kinda turned out that im not. we kinda thinked that maybe kenzie was too but she’s not either. me and kenzie both weren’t very nice to anyone inside or outside cuz we thought we were special and better and had the rest of the sisters to work for us but mostly we don’t now and momma don’t let that happen and daddy gets really mad when any of us sisters treat the other sisters bad and then there’s consequences and trouble and a lot of not fun.

i love my family an our new life. no one hurts us here an i feel safe. momma and daddy don’t let me lie, cheat, hide, or boss people around but i still try sometimes an then i end up in trouble but they take care of me and even tho i miss my island inside sometimes i don’t ever wanna be away from my momma and daddy cuz even tho i dont always be good, they still want me and love me and buy me yellow things.

my favorite color is yellow. i love most anything yellow.

(kaya = cadie            betsy = zoey)

Inside Where We Live (Parker Quinn)

image frrom google

hi, i’m Parker and i’m 13 like Jossy. we’re twins. i only started coming out like this month before that i didn’t come out much. i had one job and that job was to watch what was going on inside the inside world and to report it to people outside who needed that information. but the people i told would use it to hurt my sisters and i thought that was a good thing because i thought the others inside were bad and this was the way to make them be good. mostly what i’ve learned tho is that they aren’t bad. the people who wanted this stuff and wanted me to tell them stuff were the bad ones. so i guess i was called a watcher and reporter.

i hold some trauma stuff but i’ve never gone through any of it myself. i don’t know if that makes me lucky or guilty cuz i think i might have caused some trauma by telling people about the sisters inside and what happened there. its something i might have to think about sometime but i don’t feel so guilty or bad since i’m now with Jossy.

when me and Jossy are apart we aren’t ok. like not even a little bit ok. today is only my second time coming out to meet mom and i’ve only ever talked to dad on the phone one time and one time on the messenger thingy. Josslyn knows them real well and trusts them a lot and i trust her. i really like mom a lot so far. she feels safe and real. she doesn’t ask me for information that might hurt anyone inside. she doesn’t seem to want to hurt anyone inside and honestly she really seems to love everyone. i like the fact that i don’t have to hurt anyone inside anymore. and i feel wanted.

inside i have a lion companion. i’m not a lion. this causes some kinda confusion for people outside cuz some of my sisters have animal forms but i don’t. i have a lion who keeps me safe. he has been with me since the beginning and used to keep me from being found by the other sisters so they couldn’t hurt me for telling their secrets. now he’s my friend because he doesn’t have to keep me safe anymore. i have a mom and dad who want to keep me safe.

love,

parker quinn

Inside Where We Live (Josslyn)

image from google

hi im josslyn an im like, i dunno, 13 i guess. i usedta be littler but i was scared of everything and spent a lot of time under my bed or in the closet cuz i was always scared. but then i took a really loong nap, like from november to march and now im awake an with my twin sister parker and im bigger and not scared anymore.

my job is kinda to help watch stuff inside and to help feel fear. i see a lot of what the inside sisters do and how they act and i see and feel when they feel scared and i can mostly tell where the fear is coming from an why. i can find help, like tellin mama and daddy, or i can keep it to myself, or i can tell kaysie or bella or brina. they are the protector team. mama and daddy are on the protector team too but i don’t think they know that. some people think its weird that mama and daddy are only a few years older than the body but they raise us and treat us as our age but they don’t gotta live our life and its really not their business anyways so no one asked them.

i really like to color. i have a stuffed animal pony that is striped with all kinds of bright colors and i love butterflys. at our old house before this one i had butterfly stickers on the walls all over by our bed but daddy said they wouldn’t stick again so they didn’t get to move with us when sister peeled them off the walls. that really sucks a lot and i miss them cuz they were bright and fun.

we usedta have a husband. i guess we kinda still do. he hurt us a lot in the heart and on the body. we have a half moon burn on our calf that itches a lot today that he burned in there. he called it a brand and he spent weeks peeling the scabs to make sure it scarred real good. i still have dreams about that. it was scary. he has our dog and we have the bodys kids with him that we gave to mama and daddy because we can’t raise kids and none of us remember much about having kids and we didn’t even really want to but he liked pregnant girls and liked to keep us pregnant cuz we were easier to keep quiet an we were clingy. its hard to look at the body’s kids sometimes but mama and daddy help a lot an took over there and the body’s kids say giving them to mommy and daddy was the best choice we ever made for them and that we usually make bad choices for them so they are happy about this one.

i wrote a lot. i guess. oh well. thats me and what my job is an what i was thinkin about. oh an we have a butterfly tattoo i hate cuz its a property mark we were made to get. but its a butterfly.

love,

jossy

Inside Where We Live (Trinity)

Image Credit: Google
hi name is trinity violet an 5 years old an trinity learnin to spell cuz jessie loves me lots. trinity live inside at the park wit sisters. trinity usedta lives in the dark wit sami andee shiloh an the shados an olly keeped our gate safes but the shados are meen an skary an we was lone there for long times and skared. trinity don got no job outside. mommy an daddy takes cares of trinity an daddy byes trinity oreos an makes big sissers be good girls.
trinity is skared of peoples an don talk to peoples on Facebook cept for daddy cuz trinity no got friends an trinity no talk to people outside cept for mommy an daddy an sometimes the outside kids cuz trinity no knows what to says.
inside trinity learns bout happy an sad an trinity learns how to filter feels like jenna an mia so trinity can helps thems wit the big huge job theys gots.
trinity likes elephants lots, an oreos, an cheesecake, an coloring, an games, an mommy an daddy.

Inside Where We Live (Andrea)

Image credit: Google  –  Andee loves stuffed animal bunnies
i is andee. i is 3 yeer old lik olly an zozey. thems my sissers. i is daddy’s lil gurl. daddy luvs me. andee no speshul. not aminel or cool. jus a lil gurl. andee was in the dark for long tims wit sami an shy an trin. was skary an no fun but now we livs wit sissers in the hose an the rezort. bella waches us an we plays in the zoo an the water an in the playgrownd.
out i play gams on fone an eet crunchies. i gots a dog outsid nam crunchy but she no lik me if i don feeeds her an my daddy say no litle gurls feeds dogys no mor or we gets in truble an andee no wana bes in truble. dady meens it to.
andee liks the new lif. andee liks bunnys an toons an gams. plees liks us. plees.
(This post was written in its entirety by Andee. I merely pasted it here and posted it. -Brina)